Follow-up and continued thoughts on How to correctly respond to a repentant adult believer…

Point #1: What have been some problematic mindsets/responses/results towards repentant adult believers?

• Expectations and personal preferences becoming ones faith beliefs.
• A means to divert others from your own personal sins...getting the focus and attention off yourself...justifying your sins, "See, I'm not as bad as..."
  • Luke 18:9-14 (NLT) 9 Then Jesus told this story to some who had great confidence in their own righteousness and scorned everyone else: 10 “Two men went to the Temple to pray. One was a Pharisee, and the other was a despised tax collector. 11 The Pharisee stood by himself and prayed this prayer: ‘I thank you, God, that I am not like other people—cheaters, sinners, adulterers. I’m certainly not like that tax collector! 12 I fast twice a week, and I give you a tenth of my income.’ 13 “But the tax collector stood at a distance and dared not even lift his eyes to heaven as he prayed. Instead, he beat his chest in sorrow, saying, ‘O God, be merciful to me, for I am a sinner.’ 14 I tell you, this sinner, not the Pharisee, returned home justified before God. For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
  • 2 Corinthians 10:12 (NIV) We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.
• Develop a Narcissistic Immunity lifestyle.
  • “they firmly believe that their acts have - or will have - a great influence on mankind…Narcissistic immunity is the (erroneous) feeling, harboured by the narcissist, that he is immune to the consequences of his actions. That he will never be effected by the results of his own decisions, opinions, beliefs, deeds and misdeeds, acts, inaction and by his membership of certain groups of people. That he is above reproach and punishment (though not above adulation). That, magically, he is protected and will miraculously be saved at the last moment.” The article continues to explain that they become this way by the sources of false identity (nothing can happen to me…I cannot be punished because I am immune), unique entitlement (allowed special rights and treatment…punishments are for ordinary people…above the law), being manipulative (charming, convincing…“this is going to hurt me more than it will you”, “I have to do this because way I love you.” Exempt. Upper Class mentality. Scapegoats who can get away with it, but others can’t…personal immunity, above punishment. A narcissistic hierarchy.), and unwilling to act empathetically (can’t put him or herself in someone else’s shoes. To accept punishment is to divert scarce energy and resources from the all-important task of fulfilling his mission in life…punishment is impossible in his or her life…He projects his aggression onto others, and continues to be in shock when any sort of persecuting punishment is directed his or her own way. Pre-ordained to live such a way. Attempts to force others to feel envious of him). https://www.healthyplace.com/personality-disorders/malignant-self-love/narcissistic-immunity#video
  • No fear of God…a feeling of being exempt from God’s chastening.
  • The belief and practice that the older / more mature believers / individuals / higher authority are exempt from being made a public example.
• Runs and clings to the recognized authority within their church/Christian institution, rather than running to and consoling their repentant brother or sister first. Satan is an accuser of God’s people. How does the Lord respond to Satan when he attempt to accuse His people? https://www.gotquestions.org/Satan-accuser.html
• Redefining terms and or sins so that you don’t fit into sinful categories and association practices.
  • For example: Calling punishment just being protective.
    • Ask yourself, “Do they feel loved or punished?”
• Exasperating reproof (correction)…constantly reminding them of their sin, continually bringing up the past. Hashing out and compiling their sin and failures.
  • Your repentant adult brother or sister already still feels the reproof and is frustrated.
    • It’d be like chewing out a field goal kicker for missing a previous extra point and then expecting him to kick the winning field goal moments later. Mentally and physically he can’t perform…knowing his coach doesn’t have his best interest in mind…knowing he doesn’t have much respect for the leadership who isn’t really cheering him on.
  • Paul states this about godly love in 1 Corinthians 13:5 (NIV) It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
    • That’s what true love does…IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS, yet time and time again that’s what some have historically done, and still do to other repentant adult believers. Keeping the file and waving it in their face as a reminder.
• Quick to distribute consequences…
  • A demand to live by the written laws.
    • If you do __________, then be ready to deal with __________.
  • “Give them the chair.”
    • Consider these words from the Houston Astros owner Jim Crane…
      • “‘People are aggravated the players didn't get suspended,’ Crane told USA Today for a story published Friday, ‘but I didn't have anything to do with that. That was [commissioner] Rob [Manfred's] call. Listen, it's always going to be whatever you want to call it. A black mark. An asterisk. It happened. It's not good for anybody. It's not good for the game. We broke the rules. We got penalized. We were punished. There's no doubt it weighs on all of us every single day.’ Manfred suspended general manager Jeff Luhnow and manager AJ Hinch for the 2020 season -- both were subsequently fired by the Astros -- as well as fining the team $5 million and taking away their top two draft picks in 2020 and 2021. But Astros players were given immunity as part of Major League Baseball's investigation. ‘I don't know what else they want us to do,’ Crane told the newspaper. ‘I mean, you couldn't do a lot more. We took a big penalty. Rob sent a message. We accepted the message and went above and beyond. We're sorry. We apologized. But no matter what happened, it wasn't going to be enough. People wanted me out of baseball. They wanted players to be suspended. They wanted everything.’"

Point #2: What have been some problematic responses towards correction/discipline/punishment on the part of the repentant adult believer?

• Emotions get hijacked.
  • Don’t allow your emotions to get hijacked due to others not showing you grace.
    • What will happen if I allow them to get hijacked? Will I walk away feeling good or walk away with regret?
      • Reconciliation is moving from hostility to harmony. Some choose to live in anger and disharmony due to the way they’ve been treated and such attitudes greatly affect many relationships and service for the Lord.  
    • Don’t allow others to control your emotions. Don’t allow them to push your buttons…don’t reveal to them what your buttons are in the first place. Recognize what your buttons are and what they’re attached to.
    • It is a fact that when your emotions go up, your reasoning goes down. The Holy Spirit is sounding all alarms…be sensitive to them.  
    • Your emotions are a gauge, not a guide. They only help by allowing us to recognize something.  https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/your-emotions-are-a-gauge-not-a-guide

Point #3: What was Christ’s response towards repentant adult believers?

• Someone recently reminded me that grace isn’t available only for salvation, but also available throughout the entire sanctification process. If Christ applies it that way, then we too need to as well.
• Sin is against God, which is why He PARDONS and or distributes forgiveness…He already paid for my sin.
  • One author states that, “Guilt implies a being bound or subjected to censure, penalty or punishment. To pardon, is to give up this obligation, and release the offender. We apply the word to the crime or to the person. We pardon an offense, when we remove it from the offender and consider him as not guilty; we pardon the offender, when we release or absolve him from his liability to suffer punishment.” https://av1611.com/kjbp/kjv-dictionary/pardon.html
• He is Faithful…He will never leave or forsake your side no matter what.
  • In the movie Cinderalla Man, the son stole some meat from the Butcher and his dad went with him to return it. Afterwards he feared that his dad would ship him off, but in a gentle and loving voice he reassured his son that “I promise you, we will never send you away.” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AzOR_EjFvWs
    In other words, “We will never ship you off.” “We will committedly stick with you through good and bad, rather than making you live in fear your entire life.” “My son, you are pardoned!”

Point #4: What should be the fellow-believer’s correct response to his/her repentant adult believer?

• Displaying love, glorifying God, and a having a plan towards restoration should be ones ultimate goals. Make the repentant feel important and loved by you and the Lord.
• Continue to assist by directing your repentant brother or sister constructively. Helping point them in the way he or she should go after just having repented. Making every effort to see to it that they don’t return to their erring ways.
• Desire tools that’ll help them…provide them something that is hopeful, not hurtful.
• Moses and Aaron plead with God to forgive His people. Do you plead with the Lord, or do you choose to take matters into your own hands and distribute the punishment yourself? “Pardoned by God, but not by me.”
• Put yourself in the other person’s shoes. How has God treated you? How are you treating them?
• Focus on relationship more than on tradition.
• Be approachable. Leave the doors open…don’t put up walls. Long to have a continued voice in their hearts and minds.

Point #5: What should be the proper Biblical response of the repentant adult believer?

• Animal Planet’s Pit Bulls and Paroles…“The only thing better than getting a second chance is giving one.” Are you practicing giving grace, or practicing being more like the unmerciful servant in Matthew 18:21-35?
• Be gracious to all at all times. Give grace even when others don’t show you grace…be patient with them as God’s been patient with you. It might take them time to really wrap their minds around and appreciate God’s grace for what it is. The Apostle Paul reminds us in 2 Timothy 2:24-25 (NLT) that, “A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth.”
  • Quarrelers – debaters, a taking to court imagery.
  • Verse 24 (NKJV) “And a servant of the Lord must not quarrel but be gentle to all, able to teach, patient,”
  • Verse 25 (ESV) “correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth,”
  • Proverbs 15:1 (NLT) A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.
  • Galatians 6:1 (NLT) Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself.
  • Titus 3:2 (NLT) They must not slander anyone and must avoid quarreling. Instead, they should be gentle and show true humility to everyone.
  • 1 Peter 3:15-16 (NIV) But in your hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect, keeping a clear conscience, so that those who speak maliciously against your good behavior in Christ may be ashamed of their slander.

Awareness of my relationship with Christ:

• Atonement:
  • As a believer my sins are already paid for…they’re washed away. I stand blameless before Him. Question is…Am I treating this atonement cheaply?
• What do I know about my relationship with Christ? What am I willing to look at?
• I am a child of the King. I’m ultimately accountable to Him.

Engaging in my relationship with Christ:

• What will I do ________? How do I see myself? Takes Humility.

Hymn:

• Redeemed how I love to proclaim it.

Song:

• Christ is Mine Forevermore by CityAlight https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=roQovDZeAWE