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How to correctly respond to a repentant adult believer...

7/17/2020

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Notice: In the points below I refer to ADULT believers. I truly believe that Scripture is clear that whom God loves He chastens/disciplines (Proverbs 3:12; Hebrews 12:6), and that throughout scripture He is always THE direct AGENT/DISTRIBUTOR of punishment/consequences for sin, regardless of whether or not the sinner is repentant or unrepentant…His way and timing are always perfect. In order to follow suit, earthly fathers are to do the same towards their own adolescent children (Hebrews 12:6-11). But never in the NT do we find an example of a parent or other adults disciplining other repentant adult believers, especially the disciplining of another person’s adult child (adolescent child as well). Unfortunately, this has become a normal traditional practice within our circles that needs humble reevaluation, reconsideration and the making of appropriate changes. I believe there is an age of accountability towards others for any sin committed, especially accountability for unrepentance (Matthew 18:15-20). Twice in John 9:21-23 we read that the parents of the man born blind told the Jewish leaders to discontinue asking the father and mother questions. Rather, his parents replied, “Ask him. He is of age.” Therefore, all I refer to below will deal with how believers should correctly respond to their fellow repentant brothers and sisters in the Lord. I keep it at believers because we need to set the tone in our communities and be a true representation for Him and for His glory. That doesn’t mean we can’t show grace, love, mercy and forgiveness to those outside the faith…we just need to do a better job of how we treat ONE ANOTHER who are In Christ. Otherwise we’ll never have a voice in the life of an unbeliever, and we’ll develop walls between ourselves and the unbelieving world, because why would they ever want to become a part of a community that treats each other so badly!
Nate 
Passages supporting that God is to be THE sole distributing Agent.
  • In regards to the Lord’s Supper in 1 Corinthians 11:27-32…
    • 27 Whoever, therefore, eats the bread or drinks the cup of the Lord in an unworthy manner will be guilty concerning the body and blood of the Lord. 28 Let a person examine himself, then, and so eat of the bread and drink of the cup. 29 For anyone who eats and drinks without discerning the body eats and drinks judgment on himself. 30 That is why many of you are weak and ill, and some have died. 31 But if we judged ourselves truly, we would not be judged. 32 But when we are judged by the Lord, we are disciplined so that we may not be condemned along with the world.
  • In regards to Hebrews 12:5-11 & Acts…
    • We read that the Lord chastens His children.
    • We read that the Earthly Father is to also chasten his children in the same way…BUT we NEVER see an example of an Earthly Father chastening his adult child, nor are there any examples of any adult chastening someone else’s repentant adult child. 
  • In regards to James 4:11-12…
    • 11 Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. 12 There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?
  • In regards to the Apostle Paul in Acts; Romans 7; & 2 Corinthians 8…
    • In Acts we read of Saul persecuting believer’s even unto death, but as far as we know he never stood before an earthly judge or church to answer for those acts. God wiped his slate clean and chose to use him for His glory. God worked on convicting Paul’s (Saul’s) heart on the road to Damascus (Acts 9), in Romans 7:15-20 as well as in 2 Corinthians 12:8-10, yet Paul never took those specifics within the conversation to anyone other than the Lord (all we know is what the Holy Spirit chose to reveal to us). God’s grace was completely sufficient for him (verse 9). 
      • In this passage Saul / Paul was never taken before an earthly court, judge, committee, or board. Instead, consider how God and disciples responded to Him. Consider how their fear shifted and to Whom it shifted to.
        • Acts 9:19b-31 (NIV) Saul spent several days with the disciples in Damascus. 20 At once he began to preach in the synagogues that Jesus is the Son of God. 21 All those who heard him were astonished and asked, “Isn’t he the man who raised havoc in Jerusalem among those who call on this name? And hasn’t he come here to take them as prisoners to the chief priests?” 22 Yet Saul grew more and more powerful and baffled the Jews living in Damascus by proving that Jesus is the Messiah. 23 After many days had gone by, there was a conspiracy among the Jews to kill him, 24 but Saul learned of their plan. Day and night they kept close watch on the city gates in order to kill him. 25 But his followers took him by night and lowered him in a basket through an opening in the wall. 26 When he came to Jerusalem, he tried to join the disciples, but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he really was a disciple. 27 But Barnabas took him and brought him to the apostles. He told them how Saul on his journey had seen the Lord and that the Lord had spoken to him, and how in Damascus he had preached fearlessly in the name of Jesus. 28 So Saul stayed with them and moved about freely in Jerusalem, speaking boldly in the name of the Lord. 29 He talked and debated with the Hellenistic Jews, but they tried to kill him. 30 When the believers learned of this, they took him down to Caesarea and sent him off to Tarsus. 31 Then the church throughout Judea, Galilee and Samaria enjoyed a time of peace and was strengthened. Living in the fear of the Lord and encouraged by the Holy Spirit, it increased in numbers.
      • The believers went from fearing a man, to fearing the Lord…encouraged in the ways of the Holy Spirit, not a rule book. They enjoyed renewed peace, and increased in numbers. There were no believers / disciples quick to turn Paul/Saul in for the responsibility of murdering many of their brothers and sisters in Christ. They quickly put that in the past because he was forgiven, and they helped him move forward so as to the advancing of the Gospel and His Kingdom.
  • In regards to John 9:21-29…
    • A child comes of age to answer for himself to his authority…not to his parents.
    • An age when Parents don’t distribute discipline, consequences and punishment to their adult children.
    • So God is the only one left to judge any repentant adult perfectly and righteously.
  • In regards to Matthew 18:21-35…
    • The unmerciful servant was just forgiven, and then is seen as the bad guy for turning around and not being merciful towards someone else concerning the same thing. He should have forgiven as he too was forgiven.
 
Supporting Definitions:
  • Grace: A free gift that we don’t deserve.
  • Mercy: A withholding of a punishment that we truly deserve.
    • Neither grace nor mercy would be needed if mankind never sinned. God recognized that we’re all sinners and that we’re all going to continue sinning while here on this earth. That’s what makes grace, mercy and forgiveness so AMAZING!
  • Dispensationalists: The belief that in the Old Testament God operated by way of blessing and cursing, and in the New Testament He operated by way of distributing grace. Feel free to disagree with dispensationalism, but regardless, it is clear that grace is God’s way of operating in the NT.
Point #1: What have been some problematic mindsets/responses/results towards repentant adult believers?
  • Absence of grace and mercy. Distributing what they don’t deserve. Quick to cast stones. Neglecting self-reflection.
    • Both grace and mercy include wording such as “deserve.” We don’t deserve either one, but we receive them because God loves us.
      • Yet we as humans have given ourselves free reign to execute judgment upon others by saying “here’s what you deserve and you’re going to get it.”
    • Choosing when to ignore or utilize grace and or truth…applying only when it’s convenient to the executioner.
      • John 1:14-17 (NIV) 14 The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. 15 (John testified concerning him. He cried out, saying, “This is the one I spoke about when I said, ‘He who comes after me has surpassed me because he was before me.’”) 16 Out of his fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given. 17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
      • Andy Stanley’s message on When Gracie Met Truthy…Control+Click Here to View Full Message. At about the 13 minute mark in his message Andy gives a great illustration, and then he said something that stood out to me. He said that when it comes to grace and truth, “I [tend to] want it to be one or the other. I want to push Jesus in one direction or the other. I like the verses that lean toward truth when I’m telling other people what to do. I like the verses that lean toward grace when it’s about me.”
    • Sending the message that your grace, mercy, love and forgiveness have all run out. You sinned one too many times and now you must pay.
  • Avoiding confrontation. Skipping the step of going to meet one-on-one with your brother or sister in the Lord, and rather bringing it to light with many others so they can deal with the supposed issue at hand instead.
  • Practicing showing favoritism.
    • It’s easier to punish someone you’re not very close with, but those you’re closest with get a free pass so you don’t ruin that developed relationship.
  • Neglecting the weightier matters of the law, which includes Mercy.
    • Matthew 23:13-15 (NKJV) 13 “But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you shut up the kingdom of heaven against men; for you neither go in yourselves, nor do you allow those who are entering to go in. 14 Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you devour widows’ houses, and for a pretense make long prayers. Therefore you will receive greater condemnation. 15 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you travel land and sea to win one proselyte, and when he is won, you make him twice as much a son of hell as yourselves. 23 “Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have neglected the weightier matters of the law: justice and mercy and faith. These you ought to have done, without leaving the others undone.
    • James 2:13 states that “For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.”
  • Believing that God’s love, grace, mercy, and forgiveness only apply to you in your time of need. Forgetting why you should forgive others…forgetting what He did for you and for others as well. 
    • Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
  • Public humiliation and shame…in order to prove a point and send a message.
    • Punished for their actions to prove to others not to do what they did. Punished to prove that your actions have consequences that come with them.
    • Feeling the need to let others know about one’s sin so they can “follow-up with them” and or “pray” for them…making it other people’s business now too.
      • Taking something that happened privately and making it public.
      • The beginnings of a gossip prayer chain.
      • Example: The Scarlet Letter.
        • Here’s the plot to the 1850 novel, The Scarlet Letter…“In Puritan Boston, Massachusetts, a crowd gathers to witness the punishment of Hester Prynne, a young woman who has given birth to a baby of unknown parentage. She is required to wear a scarlet ‘A’ on her dress when she is in front of the townspeople to shame her. The letter ‘A’ stands for adulteress, although this is never said explicitly in the novel. Her sentence required her to stand on the scaffold for three hours, exposed to public humiliation, and to wear the scarlet ‘A’ for the rest of her life.” https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scarlet_Letter
          • Binding them in shame until the executioner sees fit to lift the sentence.
  • False Prophecy.
    • Claiming, “we prayed to God and asked Him how to deal with you and this was His response…”
      • BUT His response would never contradict His word or His practices.
    • Incorrectly feeling approved by God to do His judging work for Him. Remember, we’re referring to what’s being done to a repentant adult believer.
    • Manipulation practiced in order to get the response the executioner is looking for.
      • Abusing authority.
        • Punishment didn’t fit the crime.
        • We already spoke with God about this, so don’t question or fight our decision since it came from Him.
        • We get to determine the extent of your consequences…the time and severity, even if that means your consequences may be multiplied at our discretion.
        • Quick to Judge.
          • Matthew 7:1-5 (NLT) “Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. 2 For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. 3 “And why worry about a speck in your friend’s eye when you have a log in your own? 4 How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye? 5 Hypocrite! First get rid of the log in your own eye; then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend’s eye.
          • Forgetting that we’re all sinners. We ALL fall short of the glory of God while here on this earth.
        • Quick to react with punishment and vengeance (each of these responsibilities belong to the Lord). Quick to show repentant adult believers the door. Quick to show them a place to sit at a table where Christ isn’t present. Why? Because in their eyes the repentant believer deserves it…because it’ll be good for them in the end to have to experience their “God-distributed” punishment upon them. If it’s from God, then you better accept it with a right heart attitude, or else...
          • Remember what Christ said in Matthew 18:20, “For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them.”
            • Does He ever put a repentant adult believer at his own separate table? Don’t come between Christ and your repentant brother or sister in the Lord by sending them away or removing them from your presence. At some point, you may be the very one left alone in life.
        • Narcissitcly believing that you’re too good to be judged by anyone, including God…being self-exempt, but others being so very deserving.
        • Age or Rank comparing…I’m older than you, therefore, God somehow deals with me differently than He does you. I am your superior, and superiors aren’t held to as high as standard as you low-ranks are. Snobbish Christians. I receive grace, but you receive truth and consequences.
      • Crying is not a sign of the executioner feeling bad that the repentant one needed to be punished.
        • It is more of a sign to the executioner that the repentant one didn’t deserve the punishment you distributed in the first place.
        • It’s a sign that they are not showing the same grace and mercy to others that God’s shown them throughout their entire lives.
        • Crying should never be used to manipulate the repentant believer to believe that the consequence he received is really in his best interest.
          • Manipulating by stating “we know what’s best for you,” or “this decision was God’s answer to our prayers about it.”
          • Manipulative practices are never Spirit-led. 
      • Telling the repentant adult believer that they don’t love those closest to them, because if they truly loved them, then they wouldn’t have committed the sin they did in the first place (using 2 Corinthians 5:14a. as their proof text).
        • Might as well tell the repentant adult believers that they don’t love God either, because in all reality it is He that they sinned against.
      • Comparing my life with your sin. Stating “I never would have thought about doing that which you’ve done.” 
      • Hypocritically stating that we’re all sinners, but somehow communicating that your sin was worse than mine. Measuring and weighing sin.
        • I’m right with God, but you’re more of a Gentile or Tax Collector in His eyes (Matthew 18:17).
        • If a handbook, by-laws or constitutions said that if you sinned, then you’re out, then no one would be left in any Christian institution or church…from the top on down. Grace and mercy should be the rule of thumb.
      • Telling the repentant adult believer that they are a lovely person, but they deserve the consequences they’re enforcing upon them (abusing authority).
      • Elitists.
        • My way is always right. Others always deserve punishment, and I always deserve grace.
        • Someday you might be able to achieve the ranks God holds me at.
  • Bitterness and anger toward those who want to return to the fold and restore their broken relationships because of their actions (consider how the brother of the prodigal son responded in that situation).
  • Putting into place unbiblical laws/rules that contradict and or trump scripture…His examples.
    • Living by man-made laws. Replacing His word with their rules, and or tacking on Bible verses to their made-up rules (which is considered using His Name in vain).
      • This can even be applied when one sin is weightier than another. We’ll discipline you for this, but others feel free to commit this sin and not be judged for it.
        • How does God view pride, obesity, etc., but do you ever see those surface in any Christian institution or Church?
  • Conforming to the ways/practices of the world.
    • Comparing one’s life and or sin with another’s, and then deciding how to punish from there.
    • Actions communicating that you’d better look just like me or hit the road…we don’t have the resources, patience or time for you here. 
    • What about the argument that, “Well, even businesses have rules.”
      • Yes, but we have fought for so long to have separation of church and state. Here’s our opportunity to show that we’re different and separate, and yet we are proving to desire to live like they do…to hold to rules like the world does, and then even sometimes distribute harsher punishments than the world would just to prove that we’re going to hold our own people to a higher standard than God even does…which only allows the world to see us as hypocrites. Why would they ever want to cross the faith line when we choose to treat each other the way we do at times? Why would anyone want to confess if they knew what could potentially happen to them according to man’s rules? That’s what the struggle was in the OT…having to live by an exhaustive list of man-made rules and then being punished when you didn’t measure up to them. 
  • Expecting conformity…do as I do, and missing out on influencing the heart and life of the one struggling.
  • Dismissing and Chasing Away.
    • Where’s discipleship (if giving up on fellow-believers who can’t meet your standards, then why even attempt to win the lost)? Where’s treating adults like adults ever come into play?
      • “We elevate ourselves above you, so you need to go, because you make us look bad.”
      • Christians at times are quick to chase people out for a “strike one” or “strike two” call – just because they have to follow a man-made handbook / constitution and not God’s word.
      • It’s no wonder Christians never want to confess to anyone what they’ve done. No wonder Christians hide in their sin. Because the message legalism puts out there (with “Biblical support”) is, that “if you come forward, then you and your actions will become the public example laid before others. Why would any “Christian” institution train / or send the message to other people that weighing sin is an acceptable practice? We’re all sinners. If your handbook said that if you sinned, then you’re out, then no one would be left there.
    • In regards to 1 John 2:19; John 6:66-67; & Matthew 18:15-20…
      • 1 John 2:19 They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us.
        • They left because they were not of them. So let me ask you this, How many brothers or sisters in the Lord were of us, but are no longer with us because we chased them away/judged them unrighteously after they repented?
      • John 6:66-67…66 From this time many of his disciples turned back and no longer followed him. 67 “You do not want to leave too, do you?” Jesus asked the Twelve.
        • This use of disciple isn’t necessarily a term used to indicate a follower of Jesus. It is used to indicate a student or pupil. These students didn’t buy in, so they chose to leave. Not that they left their faith, but chose to no longer follow Jesus’ teachings.
      • Matthew 18:15-20…15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
  • Taking it upon themselves to determine when they’re welcomed back at the table or back into the fold. Continuing to enslave them to their past and to their sin. Making them feel as though they were never set free or released from bondage. “Here, put these chains (consequences) on because you’re not truly set free till we say so.”
  • Blinded towards legalism.
    • Acting in such an incorrect way for so long, that you can no longer see the errors of your ways…nor are you willing to change when confronted with the truth.
  • Constantly looking for the faults in others and quick to point them out…at the same time ignoring what’s happening in your own heart and life.
  • More concerned about saving face, pleasing man, preserving reputation, remaining in right standing with your close friends, than about the heart and reputation of the repentant adult believer.
  • Undertrained / inexperienced / unqualified nouthetic (biblical) counselors have been thrown in place to do a job they’re not called by God to do. This is when we see those who abuse their authority and position.  
  • Lack of humility and unrepentant in the way they treated their repentant brother or sister in the Lord.
    • Again, blinded to what’s actually happening in their own heart. Not in tune to seeing what God would have them change about their ways too.
  • Some would say, “I’ll only forgive if they are not caught in the act…I’ll only forgive if they come and admit to me first.”
    • If a believer is doing drugs, then he/she wouldn’t come to you in the act—in a “high” physical state, and confess/repent. Who knows how many times asked and lied about, or how long it might take for him/her to come forward, but at some point chooses to come clean…then you’ll still forgive? 
    • What if a repeat offender is caught in the act, but the one who caught him/her didn’t know that he/she was a repeat offender until it came out in his/her confession? What if this individual would have gone months without telling anyone and then God did a work on his or her conscience (God prodding the heart) and he or she confessed while not getting caught in the act, then would this individual have been forgiven and not dismissed/chased away?
    • What if an assistant pastor was secretly either stealing money from the church and or viewing porn, and he walked in on his Senior Pastor who was either stealing, viewing porn or in the act of adultery (Matthew 5:28…remember, looking is adultery too). Should the assistant pastor turn the Senior Pastor in while ignoring his own sin at the same time? If turned in, then that entire church would have known of the Senior Pastor’s sin. In a smaller Community, they too would have heard of the sin committed by the Senior Pastor. And the unrepentant assistant pastor walks away with no eyes on him…not even his own…only God’s. Should both Pastors step down from their positions? Absolutely…they weren’t obedient to, and didn’t meet His qualifications for filling that role (1 Timothy 3:1-7; Ezekiel 44:10-16…This is from the OT, but an interesting and humbling consequence for the Levites as well because of their sin…consequence still came from the Lord).
      • What would be the evidences that a pastor was genuinely sorrowful and repentant in such a scenario?
        • Included in his confession and repentance he should then remove himself from the position due to his failure to qualify for the position God allowed him to honorably hold...If failing to remove himself, then that would qualify for church discipline as is laid out in Scripture…if he continues to not listen.
        • Qualifications for Pastors and Deacons are specifically spelled out in Scripture, whereas, nothing about qualifications are mentioned to the sorts for becoming a student/pupil/disciple.
          • Though others will know you’re His disciple by your what?
            • John 13:35 (NIV) By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another."
            • “Oh, but we distributed consequences out of love.” This argument is unscriptural, because that’s not how Jesus showed love.
  • Sometimes the executioner fails to recognize one’s past and the difficulty and or time it might take to help get them in right standing / fellowship with the Lord.
  • I get and understand soul liberty within a local church, but at what point does that trump the way the Universal Church should respond to such actions?
Point #2: What have been some problematic responses towards correction/discipline/punishment on the part of the repentant adult believer?
  • If you happen to respond to the executioners sentencing by crying, then that is not necessarily an indicator that you’re not saved (even if they try to convince you of such).
    • It’s more likely an expression of genuine godly sorrow. That’s a good emotion when the Holy Spirit convicts you of sin and does His work to get you back on track…you can thank Him for the alarms going off and for showing you the appropriate correction that needs to take place in your heart…not get saved again and again and again, after each time you sinned.
  • Demanding grace from God and others.
    • There are times where it may seem unjust, like it’s completely out of your control, and you’ll probably have to just accept it…trusting that God will deal with them and their decisions in His perfect way and time.
  • Believing what others are saying about you…allowing them to determine your identity. Forgetting who you are in Christ…forgiven and free.
  • Believing that God is viewing you in the same way as those who are judging you are. That His patience ran out on you too.
  • Believing the lie that you’re a different kind of sinner.
  • Living in continued shame.
  • Feeling alone in your sin.
  • Feeling too far gone…hopeless and unworthy.
  • If the Church or Christian Institution gave up on me and cast me out, the God must be giving up on me and casting me out of His family / the body as well.
  • Leaving the church.
  • Leaving / abandoning the faith.
  • Feeling a heavy heartache for all who were directly or indirectly involved.
    • The distribution of punishment from others also affects those closest to the repentant one…they hurt when their loved one is hurting. 
  • Walking away feeling like you’ve been treated like a Gentile or Tax Collector
    • Matthew 18:17 (ESV) 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 
  • Walking away from discipleship…walking away from anyone who opens the Bible in front of you. Making that connection…anytime you see the Bible your mind rushes to when you were incorrectly judged by other believers, and allowing bitterness to harden your heart towards any and all counsel that is coming from God or any of “His followers.”
Point #3: What was Christ’s response towards repentant adult believers?
  • Love, forgiveness, grace and mercy.
    • Love
      • Loving others more than loving Himself (John 15:13). He chose to always act in love.
      • John 15:12 (NIV) My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.
    • Forgiveness
      • Forgive and forget.
        • The 70 x 7 and other models of forgiveness that Christ gave as examples (Matthew 18:21-22; John 4:1-42, the woman at the well; John 8:1-11 the woman caught in adultery). 
      • Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
      • Wouldn’t 1 John 1:9 indicate that our sins are forgiven once they’ve been confessed? What else could He mean by purify or cleanse other than that particular unrighteousness is no longer present in the life of the repentant at that moment? That’s why HE ALONE can say, “Go and sin no more.”
        • 1 John 1:9 (NKJV) If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
        • This question and answer comes from gotquestions.org…
          Question: "Does God really forget our sins? How could an omniscient God forget anything?"

          Answer: 
          There are several passages in the Bible that indicate that God forgives and forgets our sin. Isaiah 43:25 says, “I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more.” Hebrews 10 explains how Jesus’ sacrifice on the cross for sin was a once-and-for-all sacrifice. Unlike the sacrificial system of the Old Testament, in which sacrifices were continually made for sin, Jesus paid for sin once. His payment was complete. Hebrews 10:14–18 says, “For by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy. The Holy Spirit also testifies to us about this. First he says: ‘This is the covenant I will make with them after that time, says the Lord. I will put my laws in their hearts, and I will write them on their minds.’ Then he adds: ‘Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more.’ And where these have been forgiven, sacrifice for sin is no longer necessary.”

          These passages make it evident that God does not remember our sins. However, God’s “not remembering” is not what we usually think of as forgetfulness. God is omniscient. He knows everything, and He forgets nothing. However, He can choose not to remember something. In human relationships, we can choose to remember the offenses someone has committed against us, or we can choose to forget. To forgive someone, we must often put painful memories out of our minds. We don’t actually forget the sin, and it’s not that we are unable to recall the offense, but we choose to overlook it. Forgiveness prevents us from dwelling on past troubles.

          Rather than treating us as our sins deserve, God removes our sins from us “as far as the east is from the west”—an immeasurable distance (Psalm 103:12). Think of travelling around the globe. When does one stop going east and start going west? It is impossible to say. When we are saved, our sins are completely forgiven. This is what the writer of Hebrews is talking about—Jesus made a one-time sacrifice that completely removes our sin. In Christ, we are justified (declared righteous) before God. Romans 8:1 tells us there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ. Romans 8:31–39 is a beautiful discourse on our security in Christ. Sin has no say in our standing with God. We are fully accepted and declared righteous in Him. God does not remember our sins in the way He treats us. Instead, He treats us as righteous. Second Corinthians 5:21 says, “God made him who had no sin [Jesus] to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.” In this way, God “forgets” our sins.

          Even as Christians, we sin, but we know that God is faithful to forgive (1 John 1:9). God cleanses, and then He moves on. He does not hold our sins over us. Instead, He frees us from the slavery of sin and sets us free to experience a new life. Knowing the complete forgiveness of God in Christ, we can join King Hezekiah in praising our Redeemer: “You have put all my sins behind your back” (Isaiah 38:17). Like Paul, we can forget what is behind and “press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called [us] heavenward in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 3:13). https://www.gotquestions.org/does-God-forget.html
    • Grace
      • Showing 100% grace and 100% truth at the same time.
    • Mercy
      • Micah 6:8 (NKJV) He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God?
      • His Mercies are new, when? When man feels it’s the opportune time? After one semester? After one quarter? No. So when?
        • Every morning!!!!! God is the agent and distributor Who sets the example for each of us to follow after.
        • Lamentations 3:22-23 (ESV)
          22 The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
              his mercies never come to an end;
          23 they are new every morning;
              great is your faithfulness.
        • Psalm 86:5 (NKJV) For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, And abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You.
  • Pleading with the sinner to go and sin no more.
  • In regards to the Woman caught in adultery…
    • Jesus is God. He is consistent. He shows no favoritism. He treated her like He would in any other repentant situation.
    • If you were invited to sit in on the conversation that Christ had with the woman caught in adultery and you saw and heard how he dealt with her, then how would you deal with someone who did the same in your church or Christian institution today? 
    • Just b/c there’s no mention of repentance and or consequences (keep in mind…the Holy Spirit chose to be silent on the matter in the passage) doesn’t mean she didn’t confess to Him, and that there weren’t any consequences distributed to her by the Lord in His perfect way (patience) and time.
    • She was caught in the act of adultery.
    • There were none of her adult peers (religious leaders…scribes and Pharisees who knew the Law of Moses) left to cast a stone. Why was that?
    • What did the woman caught in adultery deserve? Did Jesus tell her to leave and He’ll welcome her back when He’s ready? Did He forgive her? If we understand Him throughout scripture, then YES He forgave her. Is that stated in the passage? No, but that’s because God knew it was none of our business (but if we KNOW Him, then we’d know how He consistently responds). It’s too bad that we tend to enjoy being involved in everyone’s business. God knew that, and I’m forever thankful that He left that part out. Go and sin no more spoke more volumes than anything ever could have.
      • He takes private matters and keeps them private.
      • How about Peter, or Paul…did they ever ask for repentance? It’s not mentioned in Scripture either…maybe because God’s taken care of it and it’s none of our business. What we do know is that God chased after Peter and Paul and used both of them in unbelievable ways for His glory.
      • When Peter betrayed Jesus the only punishment/consequence we have a glimpse into is that Jesus just gave him the look (Luke 22:61). Then, after the resurrection Jesus initiated the restoration. Reached out to Peter, reassured his love for Him, and then asked Peter to get back to feeding His sheep…to continue in service to Him. Peter attempted to disqualify himself from ministry, but the Lord Himself made it clear that He was still vital to Him and to the furtherance of the Gospel. 
    • Consider the Apostle Paul in Romans 7 wanting to do right, but sometimes choosing to do wrong, yet God forgave him and allowed him to be used greatly to further His Kingdom and His word.
    • Christ didn’t even give up on Judas, a non-believer. Judas punished himself.
  • What are the typical consequences found in the NT (Jesus’ words) that follow after grace, mercy, love and forgiveness? “Go and do no more…Do as I have done…Do to others as you have received…”
  • His practices were in complete contrast to that of the Scribes/Pharisees/legalists/hypocrites.
  • He’ll judge those who continue to judge the repentant adult believer (Matthew 7:1). Has to make for such a miserable life.
  • Chasing After.
    • Christ chased after the lost sheep, Saul (Paul), and Peter, and anyone else that has ever denied or rejected him, ourselves included.
    • The Father didn’t tell the prodigal Son to leave and then hope he’d come back. The Father allowed the son to leave, awaited his return, and then welcomed him home. It was the son’s choice to leave…he wasn’t told to leave, but there was a celebration awaiting him.
  • He sent the Holy Spirit / Helper / Comforter to come alongside you in your time of need.  
Point #4: What should be the fellow-believer’s correct response to his/her repentant adult believer?
  • As a Christian institution / church it’d be good for leadership to create rules / laws, whatever you want to call them, that are aligned with scripture (not man-made). Ones that don’t portray or communicate a weighing and or measuring of sin…be honest with yourselves and remember that sin is sin, period. 
  • Conform to His ways and practices that He’s already laid out for us in His word…no need to reinvent God’s wheel of truths and practices.
  • We’re all familiar with the question, “Does the punishment fit the crime?” As believers we need to be asking, “Is punishment to be distributed by one’s fellow-sinful-believing-peers when repentance is involved?”
  • Restoration.
    • Restore them gently.
      • Galatians 6:1 (NIV) Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.
    • Watch any of those restoration shows on TV and tell me it doesn’t excite you to see something so ugly become so beautiful once again. Don’t put a wall that could potentially hinder the restoration process.
  • Come alongside and assist however God leads. Pray and make sure instruction is coming from Him and not some man-made rule/law…or even just from your own personal preferences. Anyone can smell hypocrisy, legalism and judgmentalism from any distance. Be real and genuine with your repentant adult brother or sister in the Lord.
  • Make sure your actions reflect your words. If you tell them that you love and care about them, then don’t show them the door immediately following those words. Rather, desire having a part in showing them the way.
    • Keep them in your circle, at your table, in your life. Pushing them away sends quite the opposite message that you’re hoping or thinking to accomplish. You’re hoping they’ll get better when they’re away from you, and then take them back when they’re healed. Why not be side by side with them the entire time. Don’t take the easy way out. Don’t leave a wounded soldier. Don’t show them the door so quickly. Be interruptible, patient, loving, available, etc.
  • Celebrating gaining/winning/avoiding the loss of a brother or sister in the Lord.
    • Matthew 18:15-35 (ESV) If Your Brother Sins Against You 15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”
  • Celebrate the fact that they’re displaying a repentant heart (consider the father of the prodigal son).
    • Keep them at the same table that you and Christ are sitting at.
  • Recognize that Scripture…IT judges the heart.
    • Hebrews 4:12 (NIV). For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.
    • Allow for God’s perfect way and time to judge the hearts of others. No need to rush His process and perfect plan.
  • Make every effort to not build a wall between yourself and the repentant believer. Be patient with them. Persevere throughout the process with them. Come alongside and help as is needed, but NEVER give up on them. Why? Because God never gives up on you. Why? Because discipleship is too valuable to let go of.
  • Be kind, compassionate, and forgiving towards one another.
    • Live out the golden and platinum rules. Consider the small word “as” in the verses below.
      • Ephesians 4:32 (NIV) Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
      • Matthew 22:34-40 (ESV) The Great Commandment 34 But when the Pharisees heard that he had silenced the Sadducees, they gathered together. 35 And one of them, a lawyer, asked him a question to test him. 36 “Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” 37 And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. 38 This is the great and first commandment. 39 And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. 40 On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets.”
      • John 15:12 (NIV) My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.
  • Humbly show one another genuine mercy.
    • Micah 6:8 (NKJV) He has shown you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you But to do justly, To love mercy, And to walk humbly with your God?
    • John MacArthur points out that, “The person whose life is characterized by mercy is ready for the day of judgment, and will escape all the charges that strict justice might bring against him because by showing mercy to others he gives genuine evidence of having received God’s mercy.”
  • Display 100% grace and 100% truth at all times.
    • John 1:14, 17 (NIV) The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the one and only Son, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth. 17 For the law was given through Moses; grace and truth came through Jesus Christ.
    • According to the examples given in the NT, should we run to grace, or run to consequences? Who will be the first to cast a stone?
  • Realize that ONLY GOD can change a person’s heart.
    • Psalm 51:10 (NLT) Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me.
  • I get the verse about whom the Lord loves he chastens...He's the direct agent/administer and Judge. And I get from the NT where man can punish the unrepentant. But I still cannot find any examples in the NT where any man punished a repentant adult believer...where the repentant faced consequences from their fellow believing peers.
  • Run to their aid. Increase in numbers and heal a part of the body that’s hurting…not cut that part off, but rejoicing over restoration of the wounded one.
    • 1 Corinthians 12:26… If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.
      • The body often gives up on a repentant adult brother or sister in the Lord. It’s convenient to make time and effort to rejoice in the healthy areas of others’ lives, but when it comes to the suffering aspects of one’s life it just feels quickest and easiest to cut that part off that’s been holding everyone else back. We’ll move forward as you lag behind.
        Good article that answers the question, What is the importance of Christian unity?
        • One body…not separate.
        • God calls us to be a persevering people. In this case, to make every effort in counseling. Don’t give up on a sister or brother, who is by the way a student or attender…not an employee.
  • If crying was an emotion you experienced after distributing a punishment to a fellow believer, then maybe it’s because your approach isn’t how God intended, and He was convicting you of your wrong actions of distributing consequences when unnecessary. You had to be thinking that there is this conviction of knowing I’m a sinner too, yet this is how I just treated my brother or sister in the Lord. I’ve been shown grace, but I’m not showing it to him/her at this time…that should make someone not only cry, but be afraid of returned judgment from the Lord. Be on the way to seeking forgiveness from your brother or sister in the Lord and from the Lord as well.
    • James 2:13 states that “For judgment is without mercy to the one who has shown no mercy. Mercy triumphs over judgment.”
    • As stated earlier…John MacArthur points out that, “The person whose life is characterized by mercy is ready for the day of judgment, and will escape all the charges that strict justice might bring against him because by showing mercy to others he gives genuine evidence of having received God’s mercy.”
  • Let go of, and or re-evaluate Tradition.
    • Where did this idea of “there has to be consequences” come from? Man or the NT?
    • Tradition vs. Relationship.
      • We have spent numerous years in conversations about this topic, and have written much about it.
      • We criticize institutions that cling to traditional practices, but struggle letting go of some of man’s traditional ways ourselves…even the ones that don’t even necessarily align with scripture. We want to be known as the Bereans were, and we want to encourage others to practice what they did…which was searching the scriptures to see whether those things were so that Paul was preaching to them (Acts 17:11). But when it all comes down to it, we look down on or discourage others from questioning authority, from questioning traditional practices, and or causing ripples in the water. Our message to the ones searching (the “Bereans”) has been, ‘just be quiet and go along with it…be a ‘yes man.’…‘just believe and do what we believe and do.’ Such statements or ways of living sound more cultish than anything else.
      • How is it that we’ve become so blind to living according to the traditions of man, and hurtful to others all for the sake of proving a point to the sinners and observers (let’s not forget that Jesus paid it all on the cross…all to Him I owe…He washed my sin white as snow…I own no other man anything).
      • At what point is it acceptable by God for a church and or Christian institution to veer away from His example/practices? Tradition is under the impression that these man-made rules will continue to be in place because they’ve become so part of their Christian life for so long. But why wouldn’t anyone appreciate a grace-based rule book? If traditional judmentalists couldn’t handle the grace, because they were so set on discipline discipline discipline and seeing to it that they must follow the content of a law/rule book above all else…the idea that there just has to be consequences that you deserve, then maybe that’ll weed out some of the legalism/judgmentalism families that have slowly overtaken our Christian institutions and churches. There needs to come an end to excusing, supporting and enabling the scribal / pharisaical / hypocritical approach.
  • In regards to John 1:16 and Matthew 18:21-22…
    • The example for believers to follow is grace upon grace. Just when you think you’ve shown enough grace…show more, and more, and more. That’s what the verse says. That’s what God says for His true followers to do.
    • To Forgive 70x7. Check out Peter’s question and who he was referring to specifically?
      • Matthew 18:21-22…21 Then Peter came to Him and said, “Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?” 22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven.
      • Think about it…have our churches and Christians institutions been putting this practice into place, or have they veered away from it?
  • Solution:
    • Continue to make efforts and attempt to eliminate the historical practice of hiding in sin…eliminate the mindset of fearing consequences from man more than fearing God Himself.
      • Hymn: Amazing Grace…second verse…
        • ’Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,
            And grace my fears relieved;
          How precious did that grace appear
            The hour I first believed! https://www.hymnal.net/en/hymn/h/313
      • I have come to wonder if many Christians are hiding in their sin so it doesn’t blow their chances of achieving a recognizable position within their circles one day. Just think about the many we’ve seen in our churches that when their sins are found out how quickly some of them run from the church and or their faith. Why? Could it be that now their chances for a high position within their circle is gone? We’ve lost track of doing right so others can see God in us, and we’ve navigated to becoming so focused and distracted on doing right out of selfish ambitions. “If I want to be next in line for anything, then I dare not admit or confess my sin to anyone or else that’s it for me.” We’ve created so much fear of coming forward with our sin that no one wants to do so. When was the last time we’ve seen this happen in the church when someone comes forward comfortably to ask for prayer for freedom of their struggles? In our current circles, coming forward leaves the door open for so many uncertainties. “What’ll happen to me if I do? What’ll they think of me? What’ll I lose if I do?” Consider the woman caught in adultery…SHE was CAUGHT in ADULTERY and the first person she had to face was none other than Jesus Himself. The AGENT and DISTRIBUTOR of punishment. And what was Jesus’ response to the accusers and to the adulterous woman? Does our approach reflect His example? Who do we think we are anymore? Who have some of us become?
      • On June 1st, 2020, Chicago bears Head Coach Matt Nagy mentioned that pure honesty leads to answering the why part for the listener.
      • In our circles honesty hasn’t been a common practice. Leadership hasn’t been straightforward that they too are sinners JUST LIKE those they “rule” over. If they were doing this, then consequences should be coming their way as well.
        • In addition, they’ve left out the “why’s” for far too long, because there is to be no arguing with or questioning current rules in place…and we wonder why our people are not searching the scriptures like the Bereans were commended for doing so…we wonder why our younger generation is drifting away from the Church…we wonder why Christian institutions such as Clear Water’s and Northland’s have closed their doors, and why other Christian Institutions aren’t too far behind. Could it be because 100% grace and 100% truth are absent from these places?
      • To reiterate the prior points, Matt Nagy also said this, “Again, when you're honest with people, it makes things in life so much easier.” https://www.nytimes.com/reuters/2020/06/01/sports/football/01reuters-football-nfl-chi-trubisky.html
      • Why are we making this so much harder than it needs to be? Rules and burdens are so OT ways of living.
      • Why can’t we be honest and say we’ve been living according to tradition and not according to Christ-likeness? It begins with leadership. The people are silently saying they want change by fleeing the churches and Christian institutions that are becoming judgmental and legalistic. Chose to do ministry God’s way…not man’s.
    • If necessary, then get away from what other like-faith-and-practice Christian institutions are doing. Stop comparing ourselves among ourselves. And begin to develop a grace-based ministry that sets your Church or Christian institution apart from all others.
      • 2 Corinthians 10:12 (NIV) We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise.
    • Evaluate each scenario individually. Discernment, consistency, and no favoritism. Hiring trusted, proven, and qualified Nouthetic Counselors who are in agreement of what grace-based ministry looks like. In agreement of the bigger picture…the goal, which is for God to be glorified. What was your goal in how you dealt with a repentant adult believer in the past? How was God glorified in any of it? 
    • We hear of people investing in stocks. As soon as a stock doesn’t perform like we want, then we pull out and move on. We don’t want students or attenders to feel like they’re the stock market. We want them to know that we’re up to the spiritual warfare task, because it’s real in the life of every believer, and we need ONE ANOTHER at all times…through the good and bad. We’re here to invest in each student or attender no matter where they’re at in their walk with the Lord. We’ve decided to establish different levels of counseling. Status for each student or attender…
      • No counsel currently needed.
      • Low.
      • Moderate.
      • High.
      • Extreme. (If the student or attender hasn’t gotten the message by now, then he/she will most likely have left at this point anyway…gone out from among us / discontinued with us by their own choosing).
  • Consider:
    • Where is a believer’s safe place if the church and Christian institutions aren’t providing that kind of an atmosphere?
    • Would you discipline, correct, or punish your own repentant adult child?
      • If I'm not to inflict discipline/correction/punishment/consequences on my own repentant adult child, then who gave me the right to inflict any of such upon other people's adult children?
      • We don’t even punish our own unrepentant adult children.
  • Resist this mindset…. BUT there just has to be consequences from me to you, really? Where is that found in scripture? Where is it that a Berean (in reference to one who was commended for searching the scriptures to find truth after they received the preaching/teaching of the word) can find that a repentant adult believer received a punishment or consequence from another adult believer / their peer / disciple?
    • Recently I watched an episode of The First 48…An investigator stated that a family finds solace [comfort] when the subject is caught and punished.
    • I believe that some in our circles have found too much comfort in catching and punishing their peer disciples. Judge not, why? Lest you be judged yourselves. Doesn’t that warning cause anyone to tremble anymore? Or are we numb to how we’ve historically treated each other? Why is it so hard to let go of the thought that others who have repented must receive consequences from their adult believing peers?
    • What about Romans 13:1-7? Doesn’t this passage make it clear that if you disobey authority you should expect consequences?
      • This is a passage concerning submitting to the laws of the government and paying our taxes. Being good citizen’s leads to a good testimony. If there were a forced law commanding that everyone abort one’s child, then we could disobey that law due to its violation of biblical practice. Such a law given would be an abuse of authority and worthy of not being submitted to. These are also laws written by and legalized by the world…not necessarily believers.
      • Government should be viewed differently than a Church or Christian Institution. Are Bible College Presidents and or Pastors called to be in their positions by God? I would hope so. If they are called by God and they have the freedom to put “laws” and practices in place within their local school and or church, then each one should clearly reflect Christ-likeness and scripture…a clear distinguishing factor that we should be so thankful to be able / have the privilege to make in this country. In recent days we’ve seen what kind of an environment abuse of authority establishes. Taking advantage of others. Prejudice. Favoritism. Etc. Man-made laws can in-fact in time become abusive without even realizing it. They can also become unbiblical, which many in our day have done just that.
      • What does it mean to be a Christian employer and employee?
        • One author states, that “If the employees are also Christians, [then] Galatians 3:28 should be the hallmark of the work environment: ‘There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” Even if some employees do not share faith in Christ, an employer can start with the premise that everyone is equal in value and should be treated with dignity and respect (Matthew 7:12)…The ground at the foot of the cross is level. We all come the same way: broken, humble, and repentant. We leave justified and forgiven, but with a new heart to love and serve others. Colossians 3:11 says, “In this new life, it doesn’t matter if you are a Jew or a Gentile, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbaric, uncivilized, slave, or free. Christ is all that matters, and he lives in all of us” (NLT). Even if employees do not know Christ, a Christian employer can demonstrate the fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22) with humility and patience.
          Christian employers can model the Bible’s instruction about master/slave relationships…In the Jewish law, God specifically forbade His people from taking advantage of workers (Deuteronomy 24:13–15). In the New Testament, Colossians 4:1 says, ‘Masters, provide your slaves with what is right and fair, because you know that you also have a Master in heaven.’ ‘Right and fair’ means paying employees what was agreed upon in a timely manner, providing a safe and pleasant work environment, and treating each employee as a valuable human being. Most employees, whether Christian or not, appreciate a work environment free from jealousy, favoritism, foul talk, and dishonesty. An employer can set that standard in the office and refuse to tolerate behavior that violates that standard…[It should be noted, that] before displaying outward symbols of Christianity, an employer must be certain that his or her lifestyle is not a contradiction. Any attempt to bring Christianity into the workplace will backfire if the employees or customers see hypocrisy in a boss’s personal life or ethics. When Christian employers consider themselves first and foremost servants of Christ (Romans 1:1), they will see their position as a divine assignment from God. They will make all decisions based on pleasing Jesus as the real Boss.” https://www.gotquestions.org/Christian-employer.html
      • Romans 13 is a great passage for governing authority and for the employer / employee relationship. BUT a student and church body attenders are not servants of an earthly boss. They are not employees is many cases. They are disciples, pupils, students, and learners, human. Regardless, if these students and attenders can see, and if they can know that ALL are sinners fallen short of the glory of God, then all should be treated equally. Otherwise, all that’s done and in place is hypocritical to them. How is it that the pastor of a church or a president of a Christian institution say they’re sinners, yet judge and punish others who might not commit quite the same sins that they do? That’s not fair, nor equal. That’s not even Christian. Some might say that “you were aware of the consequences should you choose to disobey.” My point is, we’re all sinners and violate God’s commands. We’re all deserving of consequences for disobedience. But we don’t always receive consequences from God, especially when we’re repentant. At what point can another sinful believer divvy out consequences to another repentant adult believer? Judge not lest you be judged. None of us qualify for that Judge position, because we’re all sinners who have been saved by grace. On one hand I don’t expect consequences. On the other hand I don’t demand grace but I expect it…at the same time He expects us to change our hearts attitude toward the sin that we’ve personally committed.
      • Do away with the status quo laws and begin to migrate towards and develop a Christ-like atmosphere of grace (grace allows for fairness, equality, and consistency…everything which judgmentalism and legalism / manmade rules cannot provide), mercy, love, forgiveness, patience, perseverance, etc, and then see what God can and will do in the lives of all involved with your Church or Christian institution. Why? Because the status quo rule books, in some senses, aren’t achieving the goals of displaying love, forgiveness, dignity nor respect to students or attenders. 
      • Psalm 123:2
Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their masters,
As the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress,
So our eyes look to the Lord our God,
Until He has mercy on us.
  • If He can show mercy, then why is it so hard for us to make that our first go to? Again, it’s He that has the mercy we need to tap into. And since we’re made in His likeness, then we too can and should display mercy and grace.
  • Ephesians 6:9 And masters, do the same things to them, and give up threatening, knowing that both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.
    • All a law does is threaten.
  • Christ said to “Go and sin no more”…this was not just available to the woman caught in adultery, but to each of His followers who come to Him with a repentant heart.
  • Colossians 4:1 Masters, grant to your slaves justice and fairness, knowing that you too have a Master in heaven.
  • Judge not lest ye be judged.
  • Eliminate the hypocrisy. Young people are smart. They know that ALL are sinners. Why should they be treated any differently than the higher ups? Tallying up sin, and removing an individual when he/she doesn’t measure up. Does that make sense Biblically, really?
  • One individual states that, “I believe the Bible is clear we are to obey God and if we disobey we should expect correction. When we repent God may give mercy and grace but not always. Annanias and Sapphira died for lying. Hebrews 12:4-10 talks about God's discipline. God is clear, all of those he loves receives discipline…I think in Hebrews the evidence of consequences is a sign of love by God to us and fathers to children. Again I feel consequences for sin should be expected but if grace is given wonderful, it just cannot be demanded.”
    • Hebrews 12:4-10…
      • Notice who is doing the chastening.
        • Whom He loves HE chastens that individual for his/her throughout his/her entire life on this earth (He doesn’t chasten in heaven), whether they are young minors, young adults, adults or Senior Saints. I call that a God-spanking.
        • On the other hand we have the scenario of a father to his young youthful son…not referring to an adult child. This time of punishing / correction / consequences is to be brief in duration, a temporal correction/distributing consequences for disobedience…Verse 10 “indeed for a few days chastened us.” During childhood…In hopes that when he’s old he won’t depart from the way he should go.
    • Annanias and Sapphira…
      • Did they receive a punishment for their sin? Yes. But from who?
      • Peter was saddened by their decision, but he didn’t murder them. He didn’t order or execute their punishment. They each fell and died because of their sin. God was the agent and distributor of their consequence…not man – not a fellow-believer.
  • Again, the main point of all I’ve been saying before is this…It CANNOT be proven anywhere in the dispensation of grace (in the NT) where a believer punishes a fellow believer who is repentant…where another believer hands out consequences or correction to a repentant adult believer (God might and does in certain situations, but it’s never recorded that man is the agent/distributor). Doesn’t matter if admitting or caught in the act of sin…IF a believer repents, then he/she is to be forgiven. Clean slate. Washed white as snow. Forgive and forget. Go and sin no more. Don’t abuse grace in the process. We find no practice or example of any repentant believer receiving any sort of punishment from their believing peers. NONE. So why has this become a common practice among private Christian institutions and churches today? Isn’t it leading to shaming others? Isn’t it more concerned about the reputation of that particular church or Christian institution more so then the heart of a struggling part of the body?
  • Consider 1 John 1:9…This verse reiterates that THE AGENT / DISTRIBUTOR…HE ALONE is Faithful. HE ALONE is just, which means He will have the perfect and right punishment every time…one that will prayerfully change the heart of an individual since He’s the only one Who can do that in the first place. AND HE ALONE cleanses. This verse doesn’t say that if we confess our sins, then any other adult believer has the right to fulfill what follows in that verse. Everything points back to THE ONE Agent, God Himself.
  • Again, were speaking of repentant adult believers. This doesn’t mean that unbelievers are not deserving of an eternity in hell…they deserve that consequence for personally and willing rejecting the Savior/Creator.
    • Revelation 20:9-15. God judged and cast the lost into the lake of fire…into hell.
    • Hell is real. It is a place that only God can condemn individuals to. He is the agent and distributor of their punishment as a consequence for their sin, rejection, blasphemy and rebellion. You and I cannot distribute this punishment upon anyone…only He can. Because of their rejection of Christ they are deserving of hell and will end up there. Believers deserve hell, but by God’s grace we will never experience it.
 
Point #5: What should be the proper Biblical response of the repentant adult believer?
  • Recognize the Biblical examples of hope.
    • God has a plan for you just as He did those who stumbled along the way in NT times. He still loved and used them even while they were yet sinners…He’ll do the same for each of you today as well.
  • Admit and confess. Repentance.
    • Remorse is feeling sorry for what you did, and Repentance is seeing it how God sees it.
      • Turn your eyes upon Jesus. Follow His example, and submit to Him.
  • Do your part in attempting to make things right with those you directly sinned against.
  • Be cautious as to who you seek advice and or counsel from.
    • Seek out voices of truth…not just those who will itch your ears (2 Timothy 4:3…diverting you from the truth), but “Bereans” (Acts 17:11) who correctly align their words for and to you with studied out and true scripture (truths in context, not cherry picked or tradition…not just “truths” to fit their perfect world, ways, and personal preferences).
  • Be cautious as to who you share your story with. Make sure they will either keep it confident or that you can trust that they won’t twist your story and add false narrative to it later on. That they’ll keep it a private matter, and be proven to not tend to rush to making others sin known publically.
  • Practice Honesty and Humility.
  • Sincere / Genuine Godly sorrow…a contrite spirit. (Isaiah 57:15; Psalm 34:18; 51:17).
  • Set aside time for some serious Self-examination.
    • Make the appropriate corrections that the Holy Spirit is relaying to you during this time.
  • Realize that God is constantly at work on ALL of His creation...molding and making them after His will. I’m so thankful for His patience with His followers throughout sanctification / the process of refining us. Pray that fellow brothers and sisters would treat each other according to Biblical blueprints.
  • I forgive those who have treated me poorly in previous counseling / correction settings. I may choose not to do life with them…but I ought to forgive them.
    • Let’s face it, broken trust is hard to get over, especially towards someone who is unrepentant. So it’s hard as a fellow brother or sister to receive the stones thrown at you from those who disrespected you and abused their authority the entire time you were a part of their church or Christian institution. Why share your heart and be honest with those you can’t trust? Is it evident that everyone’s best interest was truly kept in mind? Only God can change a heart…something a church or Christian institution can NEVER do. We need to do better at trusting Him…He would have found a way into their heart…His way to see that consequences, if any, needed to come to fruition. We’re all aware that something such as a pregnancy can’t be hidden, but other sins that some commit could indeed remain behind closed doors…not publically announced or obvious.  
  • Why have many wandered from THE faith? Why are many hesitant to attend faith-based churches and or Christian institutions?
    • Andy Stanley What it Means to Have Faith, “our frame of reference is cluttered with our personal life experiences…we want to think that the pain in our lives doesn’t impact the way that we see the world…and the way that you see the world is impacted by your childhood whether it was a great childhood or a not-so-great childhood, the truth is – that’s a filter through which you view the world, through which you interpret relationships, and then there’s those fears and those insecurities, those things that just don’t ever quite go away, and it becomes a part of a filter, and all of these things create a filter through which we see the world…we wonder through a frame of reference that’s full of life experiences…if you wondered and then you wandered away, or…if you’re sort of reaching for the door of faith, you’ve been inside, you grew up inside…if you’re reaching for the door, isn’t it true the problem really isn’t Jesus? And so the questions we’ve asked…what was the faith…you’ve lost…or what is the faith you are losing, that is slowly slipping away…Would you spend some time refastening or fixing your eyes on Jesus, not Church, not Christians, not your pastor, not necessarily the way that you were raised, not necessarily what you were taught, but would you fix your eyes on the person of Jesus?...Here’s the last thing I would ask you to ponder, there will always be things that you wonder about, but God’s love for you should never ever be one of those things, and it won’t be if you’ll take your eyes off the people, the institutions, the hurt, and the broken promises, the things that have caused you over time to lose faith, and if you will fix your eyes on Jesus and the wonder of His love for you.    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-OplztyjHEc&feature=youtu.be
  • Go and sin no more.
  • Find another person to speak into and impact…God will direct someone your way who can relate with what you’ve experienced in life. You’ll need each other during that time.
  • Show grace to others…remember, you’ve been shown and experienced grace firsthand…keep the ball rolling, don’t stop now, allow it to become contagious.
  • Our response...show grace upon grace; keep current with genuine repentance; strive for spiritual maturity, and don't abuse grace (Romans 6:1-2,15). We need to understand what grace really is and looks like so it can be utilized and trusted. We have found security in rules and consequences for far too long. Someone needs to initiate the appropriate changes that traditionalists have held on to in order to please themselves. Don’t fear taking a stand for what’s right Biblically.
    • DO NOT ABUSE GRACE!!! And DO NOT DEMAND GRACE!!!
  • Are there consequences because of my sin?
    • One author stated that, “We don't get to choose our consequences when we disobey. God does forgive but people who get saved after a lifestyle of drunkenness still die of liver failure even though they ask God to let them live.”
    • Some still get pregnant because of pre-marital sex and or an affair.
    • The last thing these folks need is for someone to abandon them after they’ve sinned and then repented. Will you remain by their side, or will you choose to shun and nudge them away from your life?
Song: Your Grace Still Amazes Me by Phillips, Craig & Dean
  • Video with lyrics…https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXVUYC_ykwE
  • Phillips, Craig & Dean Lyrics to
"Your Grace Still Amazes Me"


My faithful Father, enduring Friend
Your tender mercy's like a river with no end
It overwhelms me, covers my sin
Each time I come into Your presence
I stand in wonder once again

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
'Cause Your grace still amazes me
Your grace still amazes me

Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole
You are the Author and the Healer of my soul
What can I give You, Lord, what can I say
I know there's no way to repay You
Only to offer You my praise

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
'Cause Your grace still amazes me
Your grace still amazes me

It's deeper, it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher
It's deeper it's wider
It's stronger, it's higher than anything my eyes can see

Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
'Cause Your grace still amazes me
Your grace still amazes me
https://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/phillipscraigdean/yourgracestillamazesme.html
  • Again, is this amazing, or not-so-Amazing-Grace? What makes it amazing anymore? Who truly appreciates it? Who gets to pick and choose who and what qualifies for grace? Isn’t any sin, repentance, and forgiveness worthy of ALL GRACE?
Shame…
  • Recently Cory Asbury wrote these lyrics in the song The Father’s House. He wrote…
    • Check your shame at the door (Ooh)
      'Cause it ain't welcome anymore (Ooh)
      Ooh, you're in the Father's house, https://genius.com/Cory-asbury-the-fathers-house-lyrics
    • Josh Baldwin sings the song Stand in Your Love…in it he writesTop of FormBottom of Form
      • Oh, shame no longer has a place to hide
        And I am not a captive to the lies
        Oh, I'm not afraid to leave my past behind
        Oh, I won't be shaken, no, I won't be shaken! https://genius.com/Josh-baldwin-stand-in-your-love-lyrics
    • Though unintentional…has your church or Christian institution’s laws / rules for students or attenders in the past led to shame, or heart change? Those who accused the woman caught in adultery wanted to bring it to light. But Jesus dealt with her privately. Whether you’ve intended to or not in the past…someone’s sin in our churches and in our Christian institutions does become public knowledge. Should that make the repentant believer feel shamed or changed? Keep this at the forefront of your minds…Grace wins every time.

Hope this study has been helpful. Feel free to comment on anything I’ve written…I’m humble enough to consider others thoughts and opinions.
Practicing His Presence,
Nate
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My Journey to God by Terry Freeborn

7/13/2020

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You're closest to God when you're at your weakest. Terry Freeborn

Real Dudes,
We were so blessed to have had 13 men present at Ox Strong this past Saturday…many others viewed the livestream / YouTube recording of it as well. Terry did a fantastic job navigating us through the journey the Lord’s been taking him through his entire life. Below are the follow-up notes I put together for you if you didn’t have time to view his challenge on-line. Enjoy!
Nate
 
Terry Freeborn was born in Rockford, Illinois, but has lived in Grinnell for seventy plus years. His class was one of the first to be in the new Grinnell High School and he graduated in 1962. When he got married he didn’t attend church. It wasn’t until they had children until they began attending church regularly. It all started with a nudge from their oldest and middle son’s encouraging them to get back into church. God began to show him how he needed to correctly view life as a whole as a grandfather and father. He’d spent too much time catering to self, and needed God to shift his focus for him. As he and his wife began attending church, Terry began to see spiritual growth, growth in a church family, and his wife Judy was pleased with how everything was going.
 
They were attending First Baptist Church here in town and he became very close friends with their pastor. Once their pastor had left, then Terry and Judy began the search for a new church to attend. First impressions were very important to them. How did the regulars make them feel when they visited their church? Some churches seemed like the right fit, but they didn’t want to feel lost in the numerical growth of a large church. God led them to PLC where it’s been a perfect family fit for them. They’re in-line with their beliefs and practices. They feel as though they can openly share their hearts and do life with other transparent attendees. They enjoy the messages and it’s easy to block out all else in this world as they listen to what God’s relaying to them through His messengers…just allowing God’s word to be absorbed into every aspect of their lives.
 
Church family has been so important to them. Knowing that someone cares about your pains and losses means a lot. Knowing they’re praying for you is priceless. Terry and Judy’s oldest son died at age 54, leaving behind a wife and eight children. They were all devastated and overwhelmed with grief. Terry learned to lean on the Lord and continue to have faith even in tough times. His church family was there for him when he needed them most. The day after they received the call that their son had passed away, Terry and his wife decided to attend church…just like their son would have wanted them to. They could feel the prayers from their church family.
 
In 2013 Terry began having heart issues as well (he’s had many family members with varying heart conditions). In 2018 Terry ended up having open heart surgery. Between 2013 and 2018 his wife would constantly worry about him and his heart. And Terry too was concerned about his own life. This was a humbling surgery for him. They would have to shut his heart off and jump start it. He felt helpless, but came to discover that he’s the closest to God when he’s at his weakest. He was so thankful for friends that came out of the woodwork. What would we do without hope? Without church family? Without the Lord? Who would we have to lean into and on?
 
Post-surgery had many challenges of its own. Rehab wasn’t easy. He didn’t have much appetite. His wellness instructor sold him some weight training equipment and also took the time to show him how to properly use it. Time in rehab provided lots of time to think. He’d think about his walk with the Lord. He’d think about what the Lord’s done for him, and how He’s got him through. He truly believes that God was and is at his every beckon call…he just needed to slow down and listen. Realizing it or not, he was growing in the Lord. When assistance or a crutch is there to lean on, then take hold of it…life will get better. God’s got you. He’s always present. Pray to Him. Read about Him in His word. Attend a solid Bible-believing church. Reach out to Him in your time of need. It doesn’t pay off when you go your own way in life. That’s when turmoil strikes quickest and hardest. Good alert systems in place are irreplaceable when trying to get back on His path.
 
Just when Terry thought he needed to be his family’s protector and provider, he realized that God is far better at it than he’ll ever be. Keep looking back and recognizing/seeing/remembering all that God’s been doing in developing your unique story. Be thankful for those subtle reminders that God sends your way to get you back in Church and to begin growing closer to Him once again. Remain Humble and Keep Looking Up.
Practicing His Presence,
Nate
 
Songs:
  • When it comes to first impressions and the importance of church family…I couldn’t help but think of this song: Does anybody hear her? By Casting Crowns https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OEhRucEVzH8
  • Blessed Assurance…(this is my story, this is my song, praising my Savior all the day long) by Elevation Worship https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOFu4FKTeks
  • My Story by Big Daddy Weave https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1TKAN-nAsu8
  • This is my Story by Sarah Kroger https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0XN7qpD_QvU
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Condoning...a Silent Promotion.

7/9/2020

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Condoning…a Silent Promotion.
These last few years my family has endured some hardships from extended family whom we thought loved us for nearly fifty years. Aunts, Uncles, and even some very close Cousins turned a blind eye to our situation and still continue to rub salt in the wounds…Cousins didn’t want to be inconvenienced or disrespectful to their parents, even though they knew that what they were doing was wrong. It hurt…still deeply hurts to know that their silence and hunger for money could divide a family so quickly and cause such deep wounds. I have to be honest…it doesn’t take much to become bitter about it all even to this day.
For many years a condoning of wrong action by several has become an evil cancer among many within our society. How did this happen? Maybe we weren’t the ones actually getting our hands dirty in the action, but our silence relayed the message of approval in many ways.
We can look at this from several different angles: whether it be racism, family matters, or even more importantly the lack of sharing God’s word with a lost and dying world all that’s all around us. What message is our silence and condoning sending when the evil is evident? Can’t you hear the cries of those around you as their lives are telling you they need help? What action is God asking and commanding you to take? As followers of Christ we know what is right. We know what to do. We know what stance to take. We have the answers. We have the solution, the vaccination…let’s not be a silent people. Our world needs Jesus, now we just have to be bold enough to share Him with them!!!
Practicing His Presence,
Nate

Romans 1:32 (NKJV) who, knowing the righteous judgment of God, that those who practice such things are deserving of death, not only do the same but also approve of those who practice them.

“But fairly or not, when every nearly other team* releases a statement, the Knicks’ silence becomes seen as a stance in itself.” https://nba.nbcsports.com/2020/04/05/jalen-rose-in-touch-with-chris-webber-to-end-well-publicized-feud/

Jalen Rose once said that, “silence equals violence.” Jalen and Jacoby Show

Natasha Cloud stated that, “your silence is a knee on my neck.” https://www.theplayerstribune.com/en-us/articles/natasha-cloud-your-silence-is-a-knee-on-my-neck-george-floyd

Stephen a smith...“if you're silent you're compliant”...ESPN https://www.espn.com/watch/player/_/id/29252035/bucketId/3434

Dr. Harry Edwards stated that, “Silence is evil's greatest and most enduring ally.” https://twitter.com/drharryedwards/status/1009227303535009793

Grant Hill, “You are promoting and condoning…when you don’t shine a light on it.” https://twitter.com/realgranthill33/status/1269054926543564806
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    Author

    Nate Smith is a husband, a father of 6 girls, grandpa to 3 granddaughters and one grandson, a police and fire chaplain, a pastor, and has a passion to see men grow in Christ.

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