How is it possible that my sin is always before me?

Real Dudes,
In the last blog posting I touched a little bit on how Satan is a thief. Today I’d like to focus on how he’s also an accuser. 
We read this in Revelation 12:10 (CSB) 

• “Then I heard a loud voice in heaven say, The salvation and the power and the kingdom of our God and the authority of his Christ have now come, because the accuser of our brothers and sisters, who accuses them before our God day and night, has been thrown down.”

In this verse, the “accuser” is Satan himself. And one of his roles is described for us in this verse…to accuse / point out to God all of the sins and faults of His followers. When? Day and Night…continually. One author points out that “This phrase highlights Satan's relentless nature in his accusations against believers, reminiscent of his actions in the book of Job. The continuous ‘day and night’ underscores the persistent spiritual warfare faced by Christians.” https://biblehub.com/revelation/12-10.htm 

I heard a message not too long ago from Psalm 51 (see entire chapter below). In verse 3 David points out that, “my sin is always before me.” That phrase got me thinking…is David just pointing out that he’s constantly thinking about his sin? I mean, he just asked the Lord in verses 1 and 2 to blot out his transgressions, and to wash and cleanse him thoroughly from all his sins. One author points out that “there are a number of biblical passages that obviously have continuous activity in mind…To have something ‘continually before’ one means to be constantly aware of it. Thus David’s sin, in his penitential psalm, is continually before him.” An article from gotquestions.org points out that the phrase, “‘my sins are ever before me’ is a phrase from Psalm 51:3, where David is expressing a deep sense of conviction and awareness [acknowledgement] of his own sin, meaning he is constantly mindful of his wrongdoing and feels the weight of it on his conscience, even after seeking forgiveness from God; it highlights the honesty and humility of confessing one's sins fully to God.” 

Here’s what I’m wrestling with in my mind. If David asked the Lord to do away with his sin, then why would he in the same breath want to keep his sin always and continually before himself? Yes, it’s possible that David asked for that so he wouldn’t want to go back to any of his past sins, but God forgives and forgets (Psalm 103:12; Isaiah 38:17; 43:25; Jeremiah 31:34; Philippians 3:13; Hebrews 10:14-18)…He washes us white as snow (Psalm 51:7; Isaiah 1:18; Hebrews 9:14; 1 Peter 1:18-19; 1 John 1:7)…and He is faithful and just to forgive and cleanse us from all unrighteousness (Psalm 32:5; Acts 3:19; 1 John 1:9). In Psalm 51:7-10 David goes on to express his understanding that God can hear him, purge him, blot his sins out, cleanse him, and renew him. All of which would indicate that David would not want his past sins to be constantly in his sight or memory. Maybe David is saying that up until this point of being forgiven he was constantly reminded of his past, but from this point on it is all to be forgotten. He could also be expressing that he’s so aware of what has tripped him up and he needs to be on high alert so he doesn’t revert back to some areas he’s weakest at. 

In James 1:13-15 (CSB) we read the following, “13 No one undergoing a trial should say, ‘I am being tempted by God,’ since God is not tempted by evil, and he himself doesn’t tempt anyone. 14 But each person is tempted when he is drawn away and enticed by his own evil desire. 15 Then after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin, and when sin is fully grown, it gives birth to death.
 
Satan is not omniscient, nor is he omnipresent. What Satan is intentional about is remembering which sins we allow ourselves to be tripped up by…what we reveal to him. And for him, he knows which bait to use in order to lure us in with. And when we take the bait, hook line and sinker, then he believes that’s his opportunity to run to and accuse us before the Lord. 

My point is this, as someone seeking forgiveness, seeking a fresh start, wiping a slate clean and trying to move on, I’m not sure that I would request for my sin to always be right in front of me. The temptation seems like it would be too tough to resist and my tendency would be to return to what I know once brought me comfort and joy…though false comfort and joy, it was still my safe place in a sense. It’s like telling someone not to think about something, it doesn't matter what it is, the tendency is to want to think about that thing. Can’t get my mind off of it. And after a while I need to have it again. It’d be like holding a beer can in front of a recovering alcoholic. Would they be strong enough to resist the temptation or would they cave?

So is it David keeping his sin always before himself, or could it be that Satan has learned David’s weakness and will constantly be dangling that sin in front of him to see if he’ll take the bait? Very possible. Christ’s opposition was continually seeking ways that they could find one fault in him…“when would He trip up?”…and then come in for the kill. 

• Luke 6:7 (NLT) The teachers of religious law and the Pharisees watched Jesus closely. If he healed the man’s hand, they planned to accuse him of working on the Sabbath.
• Luke 11:54 (NLT) They wanted to trap him into saying something they could use against him.

Could it be that the sin that is always before David is the sin, or the bait, that he has revealed to Satan in the past that he’s enticed by? That’s how I like to think of it, but I’m sure all of what was listed above is probably very true and accurate about the sin that was before David. Much the same could be said about the sin in our lives. I think it’s healthy to ask the question, “Why is this sin always before me?” Is it because I can’t let go of it and I still want it close enough to be in my sights? Is it so I can see it for how disgusting it was and never want to revert back? Or could it be that Satan is so desperate to accuse us of something before the Lord that he’ll attempt to put in front of us anything that could potentially cause us to end up in the trap once more? 

Just remember this truth, that “the context of Revelation assures believers of ultimate victory through Christ, who intercedes on their behalf, as seen in Romans 8:34 and Hebrews 7:25.” https://biblehub.com/revelation/12-10.htm The last part Revelation 12:10, the verse I started with in this blog, says what about Satan…he “has been thrown down.” Men, we have victory in the Lord. We will all fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23), but that doesn’t mean we’re defeated…just means that, as believers who are still living in the flesh, we’re still growing. Seek forgiveness, and thank Him for being so merciful to you when you don’t deserve it. Don’t allow Satan and his flowers to get in your head. Rather, we should “Therefore, submit to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.” (James 4:7, CSB). Want Satan to get behind you? Want your sin to be a thing of the past? Then let me encourage you to begin a study on what it looks like to submit to God…trust me, you’ll never regret that decision. Here’s an article to consider and begin with https://www.gotquestions.org/submit-to-God.html 
Practicing His Presence,
Nate

For further study from gotquestions.org…What does it mean to forgive and forget?

• “God is omniscient. He knows everything, and He forgets nothing. However, He can choose not to remember something. In human relationships, we can choose to remember the offenses someone has committed against us, or we can choose to forget. To forgive someone, we must often put painful memories out of our minds. We don’t actually forget the sin, and it’s not that we are unable to recall the offense, but we choose to overlook it. Forgiveness prevents us from dwelling on past troubles.” https://www.gotquestions.org/does-God-forget.html 

Psalm 51 (NKJV) A Prayer of Repentance
To the Chief Musician. A Psalm of David when Nathan the prophet went to him, after he had gone in to Bathsheba.
51 Have mercy upon me, O God,
According to Your lovingkindness;
According to the multitude of Your tender mercies,
Blot out my transgressions.
2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity,
And cleanse me from my sin.

3 For I acknowledge my transgressions,
And my sin is always before me. 
4 Against You, You only, have I sinned,
And done this evil in Your sight--
That You may be found just when You speak,
And blameless when You judge.

5 Behold, I was brought forth in iniquity,
And in sin my mother conceived me.
6 Behold, You desire truth in the inward parts,
And in the hidden part You will make me to know wisdom.

7 Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.
8 Make me hear joy and gladness,
That the bones You have broken may rejoice.
9 Hide Your face from my sins,
And blot out all my iniquities.

10 Create in me a clean heart, O God,
And renew a steadfast spirit within me.
11 Do not cast me away from Your presence,
And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me.

12 Restore to me the joy of Your salvation,
And uphold me by Your generous Spirit.
13 Then I will teach transgressors Your ways,
And sinners shall be converted to You.

14 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God,
The God of my salvation,
And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.
15 O Lord, open my lips,
And my mouth shall show forth Your praise.
16 For You do not desire sacrifice, or else I would give it;
You do not delight in burnt offering.
17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit,
A broken and a contrite heart--
These, O God, You will not despise.

18 Do good in Your good pleasure to Zion;
Build the walls of Jerusalem.
19 Then You shall be pleased with the sacrifices of righteousness,
With burnt offering and whole burnt offering;
Then they shall offer bulls on Your altar.

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